Excited for school, to see everyone, to sing again, to see everyone, to look at cute boys on campus, to see everyone... well, you get the general idea.
How I fail? spending refund money on items for school that aren't exactly essential, not knowing how I'm gonna make time to practice--and that's before school has even started, setting up my xbox when I know I shouldn't, spending at least a half an hour every day playing bejeweled blitz, watching movie after movie, drinking again-even in small quantities-I still feel bad, and blogging about all of this!
OK, to be fair, I've had some Bailey's tonight, and I just need to go to sleep. NOW.
The End. Goodnight Neverland.
Monday, August 30, 2010
Friday, August 13, 2010
One Day
Well, as everyone knew, I was eagerly anticipating Tuesday this week because of our ValleyFair trip. I had been looking forward to it for about three weeks. It was nice to get out of this town, even for one day. It made all the difference in the world. It was my one day vacation and I needed it--badly. Of course I envisioned the entire day going smoothly, but something quite different occurred.
First there was the monsoon that we drove through to get to Sioux Falls. Then we suffered through Kayla's driving to the Twin Cities. During the insane driving, there was a brief respite in rain, a quick nap, a brief decision to cancel ValleyFair for the morning because of the grotesque thunderstorm, and then a unexpected trip to MOA. Once there, I finally got my Chipotle that I've been craving since January. After that, we finally made it to ValleyFair where I went adrenaline crazy. If my feet wouldn't have hurt so much, I might have asked the gang to leave me there and pick me up in a couple of days. We stopped at Applebee's on the way home where some of the best jokes came out. My favorite being the one with Hitler and Barbie. I fell asleep for most of the drive home, but we had a lovely conversation about "Life is like..." and I'm very sad that I missed out on Kayla talking to her car "Milton" and Chris acting out the voice of the car. I will admit I was a little freaked out when Kayla and Chris saw a UFO on the way home--twice. That made for an interesting conversation on the ride from Sioux Falls back to Verm.
We drove again through rain and thunder and lightning and bugs and puddles that swallowed us whole. We survived Power Tower, Wild Thing, Steel Venom, Renegade, Thunder Canyon, and the $5 Family Dryer. It will be a day to remember and to certainly to talk about next year.
Once allWild Thing!!! said and done, I still say Kevin and Ashley owe me about $50 for all the snogging they did on the trip though ;)
First there was the monsoon that we drove through to get to Sioux Falls. Then we suffered through Kayla's driving to the Twin Cities. During the insane driving, there was a brief respite in rain, a quick nap, a brief decision to cancel ValleyFair for the morning because of the grotesque thunderstorm, and then a unexpected trip to MOA. Once there, I finally got my Chipotle that I've been craving since January. After that, we finally made it to ValleyFair where I went adrenaline crazy. If my feet wouldn't have hurt so much, I might have asked the gang to leave me there and pick me up in a couple of days. We stopped at Applebee's on the way home where some of the best jokes came out. My favorite being the one with Hitler and Barbie. I fell asleep for most of the drive home, but we had a lovely conversation about "Life is like..." and I'm very sad that I missed out on Kayla talking to her car "Milton" and Chris acting out the voice of the car. I will admit I was a little freaked out when Kayla and Chris saw a UFO on the way home--twice. That made for an interesting conversation on the ride from Sioux Falls back to Verm.
We drove again through rain and thunder and lightning and bugs and puddles that swallowed us whole. We survived Power Tower, Wild Thing, Steel Venom, Renegade, Thunder Canyon, and the $5 Family Dryer. It will be a day to remember and to certainly to talk about next year.
Once allWild Thing!!! said and done, I still say Kevin and Ashley owe me about $50 for all the snogging they did on the trip though ;)
Tuesday, August 3, 2010
another USD scam...
So, I'm moving back into McFadden in August for the third full year. I'm excited because Ashley will be one of my new roommates, and whether we kill each other or not while living together, it will be nice to live with a friend that I already know. However, USD being USD, has decided to make my life miserable with paperwork and appointments up the wazoo.
When I first received my bill for the fall semester this year, it showed a $695 deduction for a meal plan. This is the first time that USD has tried to charge me for a meal plan since I'm a non-trad upperclassman. Kirsten Compary (former VP of Student Services), warned me that it might happen last spring, but said it would be a breeze to get out of it, and to talk to her. Well, she's gone. So I talked to several housing people and they all agreed that I can try and go through the appeals process. This includes crappy paperwork, doctor's notes and sitting before a committee 2-4 weeks AFTER school starts. When I went to download the appeals form, I started reading the requirements and I noticed this--
So, we'll see how the appeals process goes. I can't believe they expect me to eat $700 worth of tacos morning noon and night!
When I first received my bill for the fall semester this year, it showed a $695 deduction for a meal plan. This is the first time that USD has tried to charge me for a meal plan since I'm a non-trad upperclassman. Kirsten Compary (former VP of Student Services), warned me that it might happen last spring, but said it would be a breeze to get out of it, and to talk to her. Well, she's gone. So I talked to several housing people and they all agreed that I can try and go through the appeals process. This includes crappy paperwork, doctor's notes and sitting before a committee 2-4 weeks AFTER school starts. When I went to download the appeals form, I started reading the requirements and I noticed this--
Appeals Not Granted For:
- The building in which a student lives.
- Personal convenience (i.e. money can be saved by purchasing groceries).
- Vegetarian/vegan and gluten-free options. Students and family members are encouraged to talk with USD Dining Services Executive Chef to discuss their individual nutritional needs and learn about the food options available through all of the Dining Services locations. A meeting can be arranged by calling 677-5334.
- Scholarship status. Community Advisors and Athletes on certain scholarships will not be considered for reduced or exempt meal plans.
So, we'll see how the appeals process goes. I can't believe they expect me to eat $700 worth of tacos morning noon and night!
Thursday, July 29, 2010
The Guilt Complex gone Kusch-style
The guilt complex, my friends, is something that I have always been tortured by. Though at the same time, I feel like it has kept me out of lots of trouble too.
It seems that my own guilt complex has altered itself though in the last couple years, and I can't make sense of it.
Chris always tells me that I apologize too much, but I don't think I can help it. I always feel like everything is my fault, or like I'm the cause of everyone's inconvenience. I'm not upset about this, cause I don't think it really hurts anyone, but I don't understand it.
Here's an example that someone brought up a couple weeks ago.
--All of my friends know or at some point knew that I can't eat gluten. I've had to explain to everyone what it is, what it does, show them the rash on my hand that acts up when I eat it, etc, etc, etc. I don't mind sharing that with people, but I feel like I inconvenience them by it. I try not to mention it if food isn't brought up, and it usually comes up by someone talking about pizza or something, and I'll say something to the effect of "ooo, I wish I could eat that" or something like that.
The part where this gets distressing is when people invite me out to eat---at a place where I know I can't eat anything. It works out fine if I already ate or if I'm not hungry and I can just get a drink, but 98% of the time, it's during a meal time when I actually need to eat. This whole blog could probably go into another blog about how I can't say no, but I'll leave that for now.
I feel bad that when people invite me out, I have to put a stipulation on where we go. That doesn't seem fair to me. I tried to do the whole "stick it out" kind of thing during the school year and I went to Pizza Hut with Chamber Singers a couple times for lunch...but... 1) That doesn't exactly leave me anytime to eat when I get back since I have a 1pm class, 2) Technically I could scarf down some salad at the salad bar, but it tastes like shit, and cost $5.99 or something like that for crappy lettuce and horrible toppings...3) I can't even begin to describe how hard it is to sit and sip on a root beer or coke and watch everyone around me eat one of the primary foods that I miss most, not to mention the wonderful aroma of pizza surrounding me! I wanna cry, but I don't want to look weak. I want to leave, but that would look bad too. I want to complain, but then people are like "oh, well that sucks..."-- and whether they mean it or not, I don't want people feeling bad for me. That just makes me feel even guiltier.
Well, I don't know where that leaves me. I don't feel resolved about anything, but at least I got it out of my system, right?
Wednesday, July 28, 2010
The Vermillion Effect
I have a problem. It's called attachment. I get easily attached to people, places, and things.
As far as the 'things' go, my attachment fairly temporary. It's kinda like a fad. I'll go after something (fairly) new, and I'll use it non-stop. So far it has happened with new movies, Ipod, X-Box, Facebook, computer, and other things.
Attachment to places is bad too. I got attached to my churches up in the Twin Cities, to my pharmacies north of the Cities, and now to USD. I think it's the people in these places though that makes them attachable.
People attachments are the worst. It takes me forever to get over those--and by forever, I mean it doesn't happen. I would give a lot to be able to forget about some people in my past. This type of attachment haunts me in my dreams and in real life. I still have a hard time going home to the Twin Cities, and running into people that made my life a living hell when I was there. Really, that only includes people from my senior year of high school and Holy Childhood people. It's not just the people that I despise because of what happened either-- when I see people that were involved in any way to those two horrible events in my life, memories come pouring back in, and I feel depressed. Depressed--this from the happy-go-lucky girl.
Even when I went up to Jake's wedding last weekend, there was still a sense of sadness because of the past. At the reception, I happened to sit with three families from HC, each of whom played a role in the whole HC crisis. We mentioned HC a few times, but none of us were eager to talk about it. Then we changed the subject, due to the hardened and sad look on all of our faces. If there was a good thing about that, it's that I wasn't the only one who was still sad about everything that happened.
Regardless of all the attachment issues, I still treasure all of the wonderful memories that I have from the past. I only wish they could be seperated from the horrors.
As far as the 'things' go, my attachment fairly temporary. It's kinda like a fad. I'll go after something (fairly) new, and I'll use it non-stop. So far it has happened with new movies, Ipod, X-Box, Facebook, computer, and other things.
Attachment to places is bad too. I got attached to my churches up in the Twin Cities, to my pharmacies north of the Cities, and now to USD. I think it's the people in these places though that makes them attachable.
People attachments are the worst. It takes me forever to get over those--and by forever, I mean it doesn't happen. I would give a lot to be able to forget about some people in my past. This type of attachment haunts me in my dreams and in real life. I still have a hard time going home to the Twin Cities, and running into people that made my life a living hell when I was there. Really, that only includes people from my senior year of high school and Holy Childhood people. It's not just the people that I despise because of what happened either-- when I see people that were involved in any way to those two horrible events in my life, memories come pouring back in, and I feel depressed. Depressed--this from the happy-go-lucky girl.
Even when I went up to Jake's wedding last weekend, there was still a sense of sadness because of the past. At the reception, I happened to sit with three families from HC, each of whom played a role in the whole HC crisis. We mentioned HC a few times, but none of us were eager to talk about it. Then we changed the subject, due to the hardened and sad look on all of our faces. If there was a good thing about that, it's that I wasn't the only one who was still sad about everything that happened.
Regardless of all the attachment issues, I still treasure all of the wonderful memories that I have from the past. I only wish they could be seperated from the horrors.
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